In Sickness and in Health

I am just so overwhelmed.  Overwhelmed with planning this wedding that is now in less than 6 days; overwhelmed with working two jobs and going to class; overwhelmed with what's happening with dad; but also overwhelmed with love.  My fiance (who I have already started calling "hubby," judge me all you want) has been so sweet and helpful and amazing.  Through all of this wedding craziness (deciding one week ago that I would move the wedding up to two weeks from then) my family- immediate and extended- has been amazing.  My parents have been amazing, both to me and to each other.  This whole "I'm about to be a wife and share my whole life with another person" thing changes a person.  I think all this good and bad is happening all at once for a reason.  Not only is the marriage bringing happiness so life's not completely all gloomy, but watching my parents now, and remember how they were when it was mom's turn, is really showing me how marriage should be "in sickness and in health." 

When I was born I was jaundiced.  The doctor's hooked me up to IV's and stuck me under an incubator, or whatever those are, but little did they know that it was not me, but my mother who was sick.  You're welcome, Mom, for indicating the illness ;-)  Anyway, very long story short, my mom had an illness called AutoImmune Hepatitis.  Her liver was being rejected by her body.  Her body eventually almost shut down completely when her sister, my Aunt Jeana, gave her part of her liver (because miraculously the liver grows back!) and my mom was saved.  Here is where I interject about the power of prayer, since I have already previously stated about my faith in a Healing God.

Though I was still very young (her surgery was when I was only 12) I sort of knew what was going on.  It was still not half as real as all this with Dad is.  Not to me, anyway.  Not that it wasn't big, but I was just so young.  Anyway, lately I've been remembering how Dad stuck with Mom and how now Mom is sticking with Dad and I just know that Clayton and I would be like that, too.  I just know it.  So much so that I am tweaking my already written vows a bit to fit these latest realizations.  I will post the vows after the wedding, which is this Saturday.

I guess my final words are to my parents:
       Thanks, Mom and Dad, for your love for each other and for your children.
       You have been an influence when you didn't even know it.

And to all the readers out there:
        If and when you are married, and if and when you have children, I challenge
        you, and myself, to be as my parents have been.  There have been ups and downs
        and many hard times where maybe it almost didn't work, I'm sure (I hear it happens
        to the best of them), but they are still together and that's saying a lot.

We Are Just Breakable Girls and Boys

SO it's been over a month since my last entry and there is a very good reason...

My dad may be upset that I'm even sharing but ya know what?  Whatever.  Sorry Dad, love ya. 

January 2011 my dad had surgery and had the Whipple Procedure done, meaning they removed half of his pancreas, half of his stomach, some of his intestines, his gall bladder and some bile ducts.  This was all due to pancreatic cancer.  He also had to do chemotherapy for a few months.  They told him there was something like 90% chance that it wouldn't come back...  Thank you, 10%.  It came back full force this year.  And that is where I have been.  Long story short, Dad starts chemotherapy and radiation this coming Tuesday.  This go-around it is inoperable, unless they totally remove his pancreas and the prognosis of that would be bleak. 

Meanwhile, I have moved the wedding up twice and now the wedding is in 2 weeks.  Eeeeek!!!  So many mixed emotions.  Obviously, the circumstances suck (I need my Dad to not only be able to come to the wedding, but also have enough energy to enjoy it), but I'm still getting married to the love of my life and that makes me happy.  Maybe Dad will still be weak and nauseous, but really at this point I'm just so thankful that I'm a Christian and I have faith.  I firmly believe in belief.  "Studies have shown" (I say that sarcastically because I think that phrase is funny, for some reason) that belief in something can enhance a person's life and even prolong it.  That is something worth believing.  So my belief is in a God who performs miracles, and that is what I will do.  See, Mom?  Practicality and Faith can exist in the same being.  ;o)

Make fun of me if you want, but I see metaphors in all aspects of life.  It makes life interesting.  Don't judge.  So, I have these 2 over-ripe bananas.  Time to make banana bread.  Well, while I was making the bread I realized that these almost rotten bananas became a delicious pastry in a mere 45 minutes.  The metaphor is that this stinky, awful, rotten situation is also a happy time because my family has become closer because of it and now my family is combining with Clayton's family.  There is always a bright side.  Or, in continuing with the metaphor, there's always a fragrant, gooey, delicious side.  :-)

The moral of THAT is, cherish life, cherish family, cherish the moment, cherish the memory.
(Allusion to Alice in Wonderland, for we geeks)